A Mexican hot dog.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Backyard Poet
I'm not a poet -- I write about storm troopers and supernatural psychos -- but I just found out that my poem "Cafe Habana, 10 AM" won first prize in Hershey Public Library's Writing Contest.
So as a curiosity, I'm posting it here.
CAFÉ HABANA, 10 AM
His wife’s convinced it’s cancer
But he knows it’s just the Cuban food
They ate the day before, breakfast at the café
On Prince Street, huevos con chorizo
While the dark-haired waitress climbs up next to him
To draw the blinds, murmuring, Donde esta el Sol,
Her sundress rising as her calf brushes against his bare arm
Giving him chills. With every bite of eggs he endeavors
To commit this Sunday morning to memory:
The bearded young father at the counter reading the Times
To his beautiful lion-blonde son, the slant of light,
Flat palm fronds painted along the walls, blue water glasses and
Grilled and buttered corn with Parmesan and cayenne that makes his lips tingle
The way they sometimes do just before he’s about to fall asleep.
Knowing even now that soon enough the engines of forgetfulness
Will go about their business of dismantling
All this, every detail, striking the sets of emotional attachment,
Even the Caribbean heat so pleasurably twisting his midwestern guts,
Until all that’s left are his wife’s worries and the knowledge that
They’re already breaking down, these once young and vital bodies
They were born into already streaking upward
Through the sunlight and across Prince Street,
Into a sky bluer than the water glasses they left behind.
So as a curiosity, I'm posting it here.
CAFÉ HABANA, 10 AM
His wife’s convinced it’s cancer
But he knows it’s just the Cuban food
They ate the day before, breakfast at the café
On Prince Street, huevos con chorizo
While the dark-haired waitress climbs up next to him
To draw the blinds, murmuring, Donde esta el Sol,
Her sundress rising as her calf brushes against his bare arm
Giving him chills. With every bite of eggs he endeavors
To commit this Sunday morning to memory:
The bearded young father at the counter reading the Times
To his beautiful lion-blonde son, the slant of light,
Flat palm fronds painted along the walls, blue water glasses and
Grilled and buttered corn with Parmesan and cayenne that makes his lips tingle
The way they sometimes do just before he’s about to fall asleep.
Knowing even now that soon enough the engines of forgetfulness
Will go about their business of dismantling
All this, every detail, striking the sets of emotional attachment,
Even the Caribbean heat so pleasurably twisting his midwestern guts,
Until all that’s left are his wife’s worries and the knowledge that
They’re already breaking down, these once young and vital bodies
They were born into already streaking upward
Through the sunlight and across Prince Street,
Into a sky bluer than the water glasses they left behind.
Monday, August 24, 2009
My God! There's so much blood!
Check out my blog post on Suvudu today, re-imagining the movies of John Hughes as horror films. It's actually not as much of a stretch as you might think...
Friday, August 21, 2009
Signed Copies
I just got word that signed copies of STAR WARS: DEATH TROOPERS and NO DOORS, NO WINDOWS can be ordered from The Signed Page. When you order, make sure you specify who you want your book signed by -- Charles Dickens, Marquis de Sade or Robert "Smartwood" Swartwood.
Kidding about that last part. Not that I should have to tell you that.
Kidding about that last part. Not that I should have to tell you that.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
I Haz Ideaz
Today I sent back a signed contract for one of the two books I'll publishing next year. And while it's nice to know that I will have a couple new projects coming out in 2010, I do wish I could tell you more about them.
Of that, more soon, I'm sure.
Meanwhile, I'm involved in a screenplay with a longtime collaborator. And that's also fun, in a completely different way--like leaving the kitchen where you've been working your way through a cookbook one recipe at a time and going out for pizza and beer with an old friend. Except this is going to be really good pizza.
Also meanwhile, because I'm the kind of guy that I am, I've been trying to figure out what's next after everything else has been cleared off my desk. I think I've got it narrowed down to one or two original ideas, either of which would be a ton of fun to attack...whenever I have the chance. Until then I will say that performing under tight deadlines tends to build confidence in one's ability to write.
Whatever is next, I can't wait for it. Because at the end of the day, I'm just a big goofy Rush-listening horror geek.
Some things never change.
Of that, more soon, I'm sure.
Meanwhile, I'm involved in a screenplay with a longtime collaborator. And that's also fun, in a completely different way--like leaving the kitchen where you've been working your way through a cookbook one recipe at a time and going out for pizza and beer with an old friend. Except this is going to be really good pizza.
Also meanwhile, because I'm the kind of guy that I am, I've been trying to figure out what's next after everything else has been cleared off my desk. I think I've got it narrowed down to one or two original ideas, either of which would be a ton of fun to attack...whenever I have the chance. Until then I will say that performing under tight deadlines tends to build confidence in one's ability to write.
Whatever is next, I can't wait for it. Because at the end of the day, I'm just a big goofy Rush-listening horror geek.
Some things never change.
Friday, August 14, 2009
No Doors/Death Troopers Tour Dates
I've confirmed dates for the No Doors No Windows/Death Troopers book tour in October. As of right now, it looks like this:
October 13th, 7 PM - Barnes & Noble - Huntington Beach, 7881 Edinger Avenue #110, Bella Terra, Huntington Beach, CA 92647 (714) 897-8781
October 15th, 7 PM - Borders - Folsom/Sacramento - 2765 East Bidwell Street, Folsom, CA 95630 (916) 984-5900
October 16th, 7 PM - Seattle University Books - 4326 University Way NE, Seattle WA (206) 634-3400
October 17th, 7 PM - Powell's - Cedar Hills/Beaverton - 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd, Beaverton, OR 97005 (800) 878-7323
October 19th, 7PM - Borders - Chicago/Oak Brook - 1500 16th Street, Oak Brook, IL (630) 574-0800
October 20th 7PM - Barnes & Noble - Indianapolis/Carmel - Greyhound Plaza, 14709 US Hwy 31 N., Carmel, IN 46032 (317) 844-2501
October 24th, 2PM - Borders Philadelphia/Bryn Mawr - 1149 E. Lancaster Ave, Bryn Mawr, PA (610) 527-1500
November 1st, Time TBD - Horizon Books - Petoskey - 319 E. Mitchell Street, Petoskey, MI 49770 (231) 347-2590
November 2nd, 6:30PM - Portage District Library - 300 Library Lane, Portage, MI, 49002 (269) 329-4544
There's at least one more signing still pending in Tulsa, Oklahoma in November. and if you're interested in having me visit your bookstore or library, let me know!
October 13th, 7 PM - Barnes & Noble - Huntington Beach, 7881 Edinger Avenue #110, Bella Terra, Huntington Beach, CA 92647 (714) 897-8781
October 15th, 7 PM - Borders - Folsom/Sacramento - 2765 East Bidwell Street, Folsom, CA 95630 (916) 984-5900
October 16th, 7 PM - Seattle University Books - 4326 University Way NE, Seattle WA (206) 634-3400
October 17th, 7 PM - Powell's - Cedar Hills/Beaverton - 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd, Beaverton, OR 97005 (800) 878-7323
October 19th, 7PM - Borders - Chicago/Oak Brook - 1500 16th Street, Oak Brook, IL (630) 574-0800
October 20th 7PM - Barnes & Noble - Indianapolis/Carmel - Greyhound Plaza, 14709 US Hwy 31 N., Carmel, IN 46032 (317) 844-2501
October 24th, 2PM - Borders Philadelphia/Bryn Mawr - 1149 E. Lancaster Ave, Bryn Mawr, PA (610) 527-1500
November 1st, Time TBD - Horizon Books - Petoskey - 319 E. Mitchell Street, Petoskey, MI 49770 (231) 347-2590
November 2nd, 6:30PM - Portage District Library - 300 Library Lane, Portage, MI, 49002 (269) 329-4544
There's at least one more signing still pending in Tulsa, Oklahoma in November. and if you're interested in having me visit your bookstore or library, let me know!
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
New Interview up at DREAD CENTRAL!
The always-wonderful Elaine Lamkin post this new interview with me today at Dread Central, where I talk about books, fear and creepy old houses that I used to take care of. Check it out!
Monday, August 03, 2009
A "crunchy spook story with a gooey serial killer center"
With all the hoopla and ballyhoo over Death Troopers, you may not have known that I actually have another novel coming out on October 13th, a little ditty called No Doors, No Windows. This brand-spankin'-new PW review of the book makes me want to drop a copy of it in every trick-or-treater's bag...C'mon, folks! It's good, and it's good for you! And watch out for razor blades...
No Doors, No Windows Joe Schreiber. Del Rey, $14 paper (288p) ISBN 978-0-345-51013-6
Schreiber's third horror novel is more of a languid, atmospheric ghost mystery than his previous page-turners, Eat the Dark and Chasing the Dead. Back in smalltown New Hampshire for his father's funeral, greeting card writer and frustrated novelist Scott Mast discovers the partial manuscript of a horror novel, The Black Wing, hidden in the tool shed. His high school sweetheart, the still-sexy Sonia, suggests he stick around and finish his father's work. Scott agrees, partly so he can keep an eye on his alcoholic brother, Owen, and adorable nephew, Henry, but a local legend with ties to his family history soon has him wondering whether the manuscript is entirely fictional. With several genuinely creepy moments, this crunchy spook story with a gooey serial killer center will please readers who don't mind the slower patches. (Oct.)
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